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Author Topic: Funny, Joke thread  (Read 42225 times)

wirafals

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Funny, Joke thread
« on: March 09, 2008, 12:53:12 AM »

It will be more interesting if we have a specific room/sticky for funny stuff or joke. Just to add the entertainment side of this forum. just suggestion tho.
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Mike on the Rock

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Funny, Joke thread
« Reply #1 on: March 09, 2008, 02:05:15 AM »

We do  :!:

     Korider Cafe
Introduce yourself! Tell us what you ride, discuss whats on your mind. Anything goes.

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wbrevels

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Funny, Joke thread
« Reply #2 on: March 09, 2008, 02:55:55 AM »

I have some PG-13 Rated jokes...

So... My momma always said, Life is Like Pinball.. sometimes you're Tilt, sometimes you're Special and sometimess you're like me and get an Extra Ball!   :lol:


Well anyways I went car shopping with my dad the other day and this sales man approched us, asked which type of car we were looking for... we can across there cls benz on the show room floor whic my dad wanted, the salesman mentioned the wheelbase, rear coupe windows on the sedan and asked us to feel the leather interior, one of us farted... it was pretty embarassing.. then he asked if we wanted to take her for a test drive, we agreed and he said.. "Trust me, if you farted when you touched the leather, you're gonna shit your pants when you take her for a spin." :roll:
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newbymick

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Funny, Joke thread
« Reply #3 on: March 09, 2008, 05:24:35 PM »

:hyper:  :hyper:  :hyper: That was a good one
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"I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves."
Jerry Garcia

v-espr

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Funny, Joke thread
« Reply #4 on: March 25, 2008, 06:55:40 PM »

A guy named Joe finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate he decides to ask God for help. He begins to pray... "God, please help me. I ve lost my business and if I don t get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto."

Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it. Joe again prays... "God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well". Lotto night comes and Joe still has no luck.

Once again, he prays.. "My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My wife and children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order."

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Joe is confronted by the voice of God Himself: "Joe, meet Me halfway on this. Buy a ticket."
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"hi im 19 and want to get insurance for my 600cc R6 where should i get it from"

---pull down your pants and wait for the insurance broker to arrive it will be more painless that way!!!! lol-------

zoran

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Funny, Joke thread
« Reply #5 on: March 25, 2008, 11:27:08 PM »

I have to admit, I copied this from Jim's facebook thingy.... But it's funny nonetheless...

The Blonde Journal

January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight

February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....Helloooooo!!!.......bottles won't fit in printer!!!

March
Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"

April
Trapped on escalator for hours....power went out!!!

May
Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of water won't fit i nto those little packets!!!

June
Tried to go water skiing.......couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....car swamped because soft-top was open.

September
The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???

October
Hate M &M;'s.....they are so hard to peel.

November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .... instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!

December
Couldn't call 911 . "duh"..... there's no "eleven" Button on the stupid phone!!!


AND THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR......

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out of her house again went to the mailbox and again, opened it, slammed it shut again.

Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying 'you've got mail' "
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newbymick

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Funny, Joke thread
« Reply #6 on: March 26, 2008, 09:38:53 PM »

Newly wed blonde gets in to trouble with her husband for running up a a 2000 credit card bill just by cooking Christmas lunch.  When her mother in law asked why she had spent so much on lunch she replied "the cooking instructions said that the turkey had to be be cooked in a frozen state", to which her new husband says "but that doesn't mean you had to go to Alaska"
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"I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves."
Jerry Garcia

Steveo69

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Funny, Joke thread
« Reply #7 on: March 29, 2008, 05:24:44 PM »

An attractive young lady walks up to the bar in a rural pub. She signals to the barman to bring his face close to hers. "Are you the manager?" she asks, running her fingers thru his hair. "No", he replies. "Can you give him a message?", she asks, stroking his face and allowing two fingers to slip seductivley into his mouth, so he can suck them gently. "Tell him there's no fcuking toiletpaper!" :evil:
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newbymick

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Funny, Joke thread
« Reply #8 on: March 29, 2008, 07:17:01 PM »

:hyper:  :hyper:  :hyper:  :hyper:  :hyper:  :hyper:  :hyper:  :hyper:  :hyper:  :hyper:  :hyper:
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"I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves."
Jerry Garcia

psychedelic

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Funny, Joke thread
« Reply #9 on: March 29, 2008, 11:46:22 PM »

two county polks decide its time for CockTails. So thay head off to the local watering hole.

At the bar thay order there usal drinks A few monents latter In walks a HOT Young Thing Little short dress You know the type. She seams to be in a hurry. Wile waiting for the bar tender to bring her her drink. She grabs a hand full for penuts and pops them in her mouth. seconds latter shes grabing at her neck and starts to turn blue

One of the counrty boys notice this and says: Brother I think she may be chocking. The other Boy says I think you may be right I"ll ask her. He walks up behind her and says: Missy are you chocking? She turns her head shakes it up and down gaspingly and squeicks out yes! With that the county boy lifts up her dress yanks down her panties and licks her ass!!!
Stuned scocked she choffs out every last penut. Wile sucking in the air as fast as her desperate lungs could The other county boy walks up and in a loud voice says: Missy are you better! You have been saved by the HINDLICK Manover.

Got To Love that one...
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